Gentlemen, Restart Your Engines | Week 1 Self-Reflection

Recognizing Saboteurs

The Politics of Relationships

Many relationships are based on power and control. When efforts at weight management threaten to change the balance of power in a relationship, sabotage
can occur. Why? Saboteurs are comfortable with the relationship as is and don’t want things to change. Sometimes, they aren’t even conscious of these feelings. Review the chart below to identify what saboteurs look like and how you can manage them.

Saboteur Strategy

  1. Brings you gifts of food.
  2. Uses guilt to get you to eat.
  3. Eats your favorite foods in front of you.
  4. Leaves your favorite foods out on purpose.

Tactics for Managing the Saboteur

  1. Refuse to give in to temptation. Your needs come rst.

  2. Refuse to accept the guilt. Assert your right not to eat.

  3. Refuse to be manipulated by this "friend." Remove yourself from the situation and tell your friend to discontinue this behavior.

  4. Refuse to be manipulated by these visual cues. Remove the visual cues and/or remove yourself from the situation and tell your friend to discontinue this behavior.

Assertive Communication

How do you assert your rights? What speci cally do you say? Use “I” messages to assert yourself. There are three parts to the “I” message:

“When you..."
Describe in non-judgmental terms the other person’s behavior that bothers you.

“Then I...”
Describe how the behaviors make you feel and how it affects you.

“I’d like/I’d prefer...”
Describe what you want to do about the problem and what you would like the other person to do.